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Golda Dopp
Laura Hamblin
Grammar Check
14 February 2016
Paper #1 Corrections

  1. Dangling Modifier- Rule: A dangling modifier does not seem to modify anything in a sentence; it dangles, unconnected to the word(s) it presumably is intended to modify.
Correction: When I was a child, “the arts” made me think ballerinas clad in tulle...
  1. Vague Pronoun- Rule: Pronouns can sometimes refer to more than one none, thus confusing readers. If different pronouns can be confused as the antecedent, then the ambiguity should be clarified.
Correction: The art world was an indulgent world where seats were covered in red    
          velvet, clothing was lavish and sparkly, and museums were posh and professional.
     3.  Incorrect comma- Rule: In a series of three or more items, place a comma after each item
          except the last one.
Correction: I was lucky enough to be surrounded by opportunities to experience great
          artwork, music, and theater.
    4.  Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: My artistic biases were due to…
   5.  Commas with quotations- Rule: When quoting a term or using quotation marks within a
        subordinate clause, do not set off the quotation with commas.
Correction: I was what could be considered “cultured”, at least in Davis County.
   6. Sentence Fragment- Rule: Fragments are incomplete sentences. They are punctuated to look like

      a sentence, but they lack a key element-often a subject or a verb-or else they are subordinate
     clauses or phrases.
Correction: Concerts are tailored to a specific Utah taste that are often traditional,
     familiar, or conservative.
   7. Incorrect semicolon- Rule: Use dashes when you want to emphasize the subordinate clause or
      phrase or separate main clauses.
Correction: ….most importantly--buy tickets to.
   8. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: The mystic luxuries of the arts created an illusion in my young mind…
  9. From vs. Than- Rule: When directly comparing two singular nouns, the word from, is most often
      regarded as the more professional word.
Correction: The arts in Utah are simply different from the arts in New York City.
  10. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: The arts do not always echo….
11. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: The tendency of Northern Utah to promote conventional art is not to   
   dismiss the unorthodox and interesting art that does exist.
12. Sentence Fragment- See #6
Correction: Field trips definitely did not include looking at naked statues!
13. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: ….meant not viewing the uncovered body.
14. Sentence Fragment- See #6
Correction: ...encouraged modesty in both character and dress.
15. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: The students maintained a curiosity, appreciation, and almost reverence while viewing the statues.
16. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: The observations were not lustful or dirty.
17. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: This experience was when I came to understand…
18. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: My next discovery was understanding the fact that everyone is capable of
     creating.
19. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: Art is accepting and has…
20. Sexist language- Rule: English does not have a neutral singular pronoun for a group of mixed
    genders or a person of unknown gender.
Correction: ...has allowed humankind….
21. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: ...but my religion is…
22. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: ...accept the restraints...
23. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: ...never to doubt my beliefs…
24. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: Spiritual beliefs become a….
25. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: Even though I had such rich opportunities and forced myself to attempt to
     be more accepting,....
26. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: My view now is that the arts can create change...
27. Vague Pronoun- See #2
Correction: ...but the arts must be combined with…
28. Semicolon- Rule: Semicolons can not join phrases or subordinate clauses.
Correction: ...combined with something else: a spiritual understanding, or political and

    diplomatic means.

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