Skip to main content

An Abiding Conviction

I have been a blogging since I was eleven years old. My blog has been an online journal and quick way to document some fun life events. My first posts were pretty darn silly, and pretty darn bad. Heck, even my recent ones are not college or quality material. However, I was looking through some scrapbooks my mom made today and I felt almost literal waves of nostalgia as I flipped through the pages. The memories were suddenly fresh. And they were demanding. Dozens of emotions were starkly epitomized by photos and captions, made bittersweet with time. Nostalgia has a way of making everything seem good. Longing seems to be a natural feeling when remembering. It's bitter because it's over. It will never be the same again. And it is difficult to reconcile who you were, with who you are now.
So is the person I am now a person that has been constantly molded and evolved into the one typing this right this second? Or am I a compilation of millions of mes that resurface from time to time and influence how the current me lives? 
I know that deep down I know the answer, and it can't be explained with words, or danced on stage, or expressed in any physical way. There is no way someone can be described or understood through any earthly means. 

I lately have this happen quite often ^^
I think deeply about a philosophical question or idea. I sometimes write some incoherent sentences about it. Then I come to a conclusion through gospel doctrine. And I remember my testimony and can explain everything through gospel truths. I am then so very grateful for the gospel in my life to answer questions and dispel doubt or confusion. My testimony is strengthened as I realize the power, hope, infinite love, celestial truth, and life-changing message of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

EVERY TIME. This happens every time.

The gospel is not for the blind or the foolish or the gullible. The gospel is light. You can not find the truth in the dark. 
However much I love to delve into the philosophical, mysterious, emotional side of living and writing, the gospel is at the center of my beliefs. It is the center of my life, my love, my faith, my action. The gospel is everything and its power is infinite.

Heavenly Father does not ask us to take other's words for it. He invites and desires us to come unto Him individually, to gain a personal knowledge and testimony of His reality. Of His love, of His plan, and of His Son. Ask God.
James 1:5    -If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

There are so many things that make up a person. I know that "things" isn't the right word, but I can't think of something that adequately describes what a person even  would  be made of. Dreams, accomplishments, interests, regrets, mistakes, wishes, relationships, etc. I love ballet. I want to teach ballet, and I want to dance ballet. It's part of who I am. But my heart also yearns for the actress side of me. The little bite of real acting that I got at the age of ten in a production of Babes in Toyland in Salt Lake City. The countless drives to Ogden for rehearsals of Music Man when I was twelve. The ten-hour dress rehearsals of Jana's plays throughout high school. I miss that. My heart yearns for the flute. The peak of my playing my Senior year when I was practicing daily and could play Carnival of Venice like a pro. When I began to see what my practicing had accomplished and considered going on to play in a symphony. I miss French. Learning an entire other ...

Senior Flute Recital

*(I'm catching up)* November 21st Another rite of passage as my mom would say! Senior Flute recital! I had probably been practicing and preparing the repertoire for almost two years, not to mention the 8 years before that which allowed me to get to the level required to play the pieces. Cindy told me a Senior Recital wasn't required, but encouraged. It was good practice for auditions, stress and pressure management :) ;) and it was a good motivator to practice. I'm so glad I did it, even if it did seem overwhelming at times. I really started to love the flute during the months leading up to the recital. It was exciting to have something to work for and know that soon I could show what I'd been doing for so many years. I worked hard, but wasn't always the most dedicated student. Priorities often put flute behind school and ballet. Dance is my true passion and has been for so many years, but music has helped with dance and I'm thankful for the balance fl...
So my parents are off to Paris with Freestone and Tizzy. Lucky ducks! My grandparents are staying with us some of the time, but a lot of babysitting and homework is in-store for me this next week and a quarter so I was kinda stressed out. I spaced all my homework and remembered at 11 pm last night that I had a 100 question biology test, 2 Honors English assignments (That included reading) and 6 pages of math. So I woke up at 6, did it, planned to do the math during lunch and got ready in about 2.7 minutes. Luckily, I had tutorial so I went to get Algebra 2 help and finished that. Yay! And my science test turned out to be good, I could use notes and a textbook. I am so relieved right now and I think Heavenly Father helped a lot today. The Epic of Gilgamesh has nothin' on me today! :) PS Have fun in Paris guys! We'll miss you but not too much, I mean You're In Paris! :)